Not so perfect memories

I think a touch of humiliation is good for everybody. No one likes arrogance, and everyone loves a bit of self-deprication. And if you hadnt already caught on, I do some pretty embarrassing things sometimes. Seriously, if I met me I'd think I was doing it on purpose, but no. But then as a friend once said to me (who is incidentally going to Durham to do medicine, so I am not going to attempt to argue with her), imagine if noone ever did anything stupid, life would be so much more boring. And although sometimes, whilst picking up tampons and a suspiciously mouldy looking satsuma from the floor of the common room and stuffing them back into my bag, desperately willing my face to turn a more becoming shade than scarlett, I have my doubts, I think overall she is right.
So for your amusement,and my embarrassment, here are some of my not-so-finer moments

Firstly, The Big Issue Man issue. Last week I was walking along in a unprovoked good mood. A really really good mood, for no reason, and so of course when I saw a big issue seller with only one magazine left I had to buy it. Feeling undeservedly charitable (as if I had actually done something that required any sacrifice on my part) I smiled cheerfully and paid for the big issue, and should have left it there. But no, I had to patronisingly add "you can get off home now!". How irritatingly middle-class.
Of course, he replied, with a mixture of irony and resignation (i wonder how often he gets this kind of thing) "That's the point".I looked at him blankly. "I have no home to go to, that's why I stand here seelling these all day" he elaborately, and I smiled politely, apologised and walked off. My ears were burning.



And then there was the time (yesterday, in fact) when I was working at the bakery and asked some customers standing very confusingly behind each other if they were ordering together (two men) and I innocently asked "are you together". And they looked really surprised, and one said "no, we're just friends". Ok, so it was probably a joke, but it was still embarrassing.

And then, of course, there was the day in school PE, SEVERAL years ago, becuase of course I would never do anything so stupid nowadays, when I forgot to put my skirt on. Yes, I just forgot, just like that. And I ambled down quite happily to the netball court with my best friend, WHO DIDNT THINK TO MENTION that my spotty girl boxers were on full show. Only during the high knee warm up did I notice, and byt that stage everyone was laughing. It sounds like an unbelievable story I know, but believe me, I am capable of some unbelievably stupid things sometimes.

Me looking embarrassed on my first day of secondary school

Now I've started humiliating myself, why stop?

Well, I've many more stupid things i've done, many many more, but not today. Simply because I have to have learnt the whole of Russia's history by my A level exam next tuesday. So for now, adieu x

p.s if you have any really embarrassing things you've done, please share them - even if it's just to make me feel better!